Popularity

In high school we suffer the indignities of having popularity or of wanting it. In any case, the struggle is to assure our adolescent personalities that we are O.K., and that others find us favorable. This is an extension of our childhood desire to be special to our parents, and, perhaps, preferred over our siblings. Maturity dispels these illusions and accepts mortality, anonymity, and revels in the pleasures of our new family and friends. Life satisfaction derives from our own sense of accomplishment (a large topic itself) and the pleasure seeing others, especially our children, achieve. We realize that life is a process with a termination date, and the mere popularity derived from others' pleasure of us is unachievable. After all, if another likes us or wants us we must ask why. If it's simply a match, meaning that we coincide with their likes and dislikes this means only that we agree, not that we're special in any way. Friends are people who share life with us in a way that is comforting. We learn to get our confidence and joy from merely experiencing the gregarious satisfactions of relationships. High School is left far behind. Those who do not achieve this, follow the stars, read People Magazine and wish they were what the others seem to be.

The Dugard Case

The question of why Jaycee Dugard did not announce herself after nearly 19 years of captivity has to do with the observation that, to some extent, all of childhood is a seduction. Whether it be good parents or a psychotic kidnapper and his spouse, children are taken in by the rules given them. They believe what they are told, have no comparison with which to judge, and can be induced to ascribe to the most obnoxious set of rules. This poor young girl was subjected to indignities just short of death. She quickly learned that conforming was survival, even if she didn't realize her adaptation. She became so practiced at obeying, she forgot she did not need to continue when she grew out of childhood. This is her tragedy.